Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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