Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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