Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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