Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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