Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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