it was like a zeppelin in a condom
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Every concussion has its silver lining
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
