At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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