Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
