Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
