White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
