...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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