there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
