I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
