I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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