At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
