I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
