$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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