Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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