Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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