I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
