your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hate all girls vehemently.
so explain again why im purple
no
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
