So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
