Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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