Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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