It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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