Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
