I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
