Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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