and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
even my farts smell like vagina
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
