and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
