Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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