Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
