Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
