Non-Jews are for practice
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I touched a dick in church today
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
