I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
