This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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