So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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