She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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