Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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