he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
