My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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