When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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