Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
