Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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