Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i think i have herpe
just one?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
BRING THE BAGELS
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
