you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
