She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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