He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
