I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
