if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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