I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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